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Meet Kissie: Strong doesn’t cut it

Kissie is fairly used to hearing that she is “strong.” People say it all the time.

And in those folks’ defense, it’s hard to think of a more accurate word for someone like her. She’s a single working mother of four. Her youngest, an 11-year-old boy, still lives with her. Her oldest, a woman who would be 30 this year, was killed in a car accident two years ago. She left behind two boys, aged four and five, whom Kissie now looks after.

On top of that, Kissie’s also raising the children of her second-oldest daughter, whose own personal struggles make her a sporadic presence in her mother and children’s life. The stress compounds and can trigger relapses in Kissie’s health (she’s been diagnosed with epilepsy).

And before all this, in 2019 – when it was still just her and her young son – she was homeless. She had been for about a year, moving around from place to place, shelter to shelter. At the time, she would have given just about anything to have a stable home to settle down.

“I was willing to pay $1,500 or more for a two-bedroom,” she says – a sum that would have had her working around the clock just to make the rent. She was on her way to sign some paperwork when she got a call from Simpson Housing Services, and her future advocate, Shae. Shae works with participants in Simpson’s Family and Youth Housing program, which connects families to resources and services to ease the transition out of homelessness.

That’s how Kissie got enrolled in Simpson’s supportive housing program. From then on, she was getting some assistance with rent and taking advantage of programs and activities available to guardians and their kids, all while she continued to work as hard as she could and get her feet back under her.

“It was like heaven,” she says.

That’s not to say things were easy. The devastating loss of one daughter, the ongoing struggle with another… the court papers and custody forms, the daycare, the heavy lift that was simply getting to a job interview with so many young people so unexpectedly in her care, let alone making money… it was “overwhelming.”

Kissie is strong. But nobody should have to be that strong to simply get by.

She says if she hadn’t had organizations like Simpson and people like Shae in her corner – and some supportive coworkers to boot – she’s really not sure if she could have made it as far as she has. She’s been raising this flock of kids all on her own for about a year now, staying on top of things, trying not to “go backwards.” The specter of everything she’s already gone through and the looming threat of once again becoming homeless sometimes creeps up on her and preys on her nerves. But she’s still making it work.

As often as people call Kissie strong, the word she uses about herself – again and again – is “thankful.” Thankful for Shae and Simpson and people who have been willing to listen to her story. Thankful for the kids. Thankful for the way they look up to her and call her “Big Mama.” Thankful she and her eldest had been able to reconcile after a prolonged estrangement before she passed, to the point that they were visiting and talking on the phone every day.

Right now, Kissie’s saving up for a couple of goals. She wants to take her family on trips and make some memories. She also wants to get them a house and a yard to play in.

It’s a lot. But:

“This is my life,” she says. “Every day.”

Which pretty much goes to show how much strong people like her really can do the second they’re offered even a little help.

To learn more about Simpson’s Family and Youth Housing Program, click here.